It’s confusing to me to celebrate a day for a guy who didn’t do what your old grade school textbooks said he did. I hope all of Columbus’ relatives don’t get in a tizzy and write, but I’m feeling cheated for lack of recognition for deeds I didn’t do.

I have forbidden the C word in my office for the day, which is meaningless since everyone’s off.

There are, of course, additional objections attached to the discovery of a land that was already inhabited. In truth, the holiday should be celebrated by Europeans who discovered destinations (notably Hispaniola) destined to become some of their most popular vacation spots.

Enough foolishness, back to the garden tomorrow.